


Bellamy’s People: Episode 1

by AutisticWriter



Series: Bellamy's People (Of The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland) [1]
Category: Bellamy's People (TV), Harry & Paul (TV), The Fast Show
Genre: Acceptance, Alcohol, Anniversaries, Anxiety, Attempt at humour, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Ron Manager, Best Friends, Bickering, Binge Drinking, Biphobia, Bisexuality, Bullying, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Civil Partnerships, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Confusion, Crossover, Crying, Dated language, Depression, Discrimination, Doctors, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forgetfulness, Friendship, Gay Characters, Gay Male Character, Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, Hate Crime, Homophobic Language, Homosexuality, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalised Homophobia, Intoxication, Jokes, Kissing, Long-Term Relationships, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Narcolepsy, One-Sided Attraction, Outing, Past Violence, Period-Typical Homophobia, Platonic Relationships, Prejudice, Queer Characters, Queer Themes, Sarcasm, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexist Language, Sexual orientation denial, Slurs, Soldiers, Stimming, Swearing, Tourette’s Syndrome, Trans Archie, Trans Male Character, Vomiting, panic disorder, pubs, transphobic language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-08-31 09:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8572525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticWriter/pseuds/AutisticWriter
Summary: The award winning Gary Bellamy is going around Britain asking the British public about important issues. This two part episode features the topic of gay rights and whether society’s attitudes towards gay people have changed.





	1. Part 1

“So, Ian, I was wondering what you think about gay people,” Gary says, looking at the man sat opposite him.

Ian Craig-Oldman slumps backwards against the sofa, and takes a sip from his glass of whiskey. He grins at Gary. “Is that a serious question?”

“Yeah, it is,” Gary says. “This week’s programme is all about how people’s attitudes to gay people have changed – or not changed – over the years.”

Ian giggles, his hand slipping and almost spilling his drink. “What d’you think I think?”

Gary suddenly realises what Ian is implying, and he feels like a right idiot. “Of course! You’re gay, aren’t you?”

“Got there eventually, old chap,” Ian says, downing his whiskey with one hand whilst slapping Gary’s shoulder with the other. “So I’m going to have a quite liberal attitude towards gays, am I not? Can I help you with that?” Ian adds, pointing at the glass of whiskey that Gary has yet to touch.

“If you want, yeah,” he says, and Ian takes the whiskey. “So, were you pleased about the Civil Partnership Act?”

“Of course I was,” Ian says. “It’s because of that act that my name now has Oldman on the end of it. It’s my partner’s surname.”

He smiles fondly, obviously thinking about his partner.

“That’s so great,” Gary says. “It must’ve made you so happy.”

“It did,” Ian says, taking a sip from Gary’s whiskey glass.

“Is your partner here?” He asks.

Ian nods. As Gary looks at him more closely, he notices for the first time how bleary Ian’s eyes look.

“Can we meet him?”

“If you want to, yeah,” Ian says, and he turns his head and yells, “Archie!”

After about ten seconds, a man comes over. He has short grey hair and is wearing a shirt and tie and jeans. He smiles at Gary and sits down next to Ian, sitting so close their shoulders touch. Gary watches him give the glass in Ian’s hand a strange look.

“This is Archie,” Ian says, taking hold of Archie’s hand and interlocking their fingers.

“Hi,” Gary says, and he shakes Archie’s free hand.

“Hello,” Archie says. Like Ian, he has a very posh voice.

“How long have you two been together, then?”

Ian frowns, clearly thinking hard. Archie raises his eyebrows.

“Forty years this year,” he says.

“Of course!” Ian cries, grinning. “It’ll be our anniversary in December, won’t it, Arch?”

Archie nods, smiling.

“Do you two hope to get married one day?” Gary asks.

“Well, neither of us are religious, are we, Archie?” Ian says. “So, naturally, we don’t really think marriage is the be all and end all of life, do we?”

“No, we’re not bothered,” Archie says, “but, just from a gay rights perspective, we’d like it to happen. I mean, there are other gay people who want nothing more than marriage, so we think it should happen to make them all happy, and to give us all the equal rights we deserve.”

“Did you know, Gary,” Ian says, leaning forwards in his seat, “that being gay was illegal until I was twenty six? Isn’t that awful?”

Gary nods. “That’s definitely awful.”

“I just remember going through my teens and early adulthood feeling so awful,” Ian says. “Because I’ve known I’m gay since I was fourteen, and I had to go though twelve years of my life without being able to tell anyone, feeling trapped. When I heard the news on the radio that it was being decriminalised, I actually cried.” He chuckles weakly and takes another sip of his whiskey; a fleeting look of anxiety crosses Archie’s face. “And that was actually pretty funny, seeing as I was with the band at the time, and they were really worried that something had upset me. But I was anything but upset, because I could finally be myself. And then I met Archie, and we started going out a couple of years later, and, as they say—”

“The rest is history,” Archie finishes for him, and he gives Ian a kiss.

Gary smiles as he looks at the two of them. It’s so great to see them looking so happy, although he knows he isn’t the only one who’s worried about the amount Ian has drank.

\---

Gary really is sick to death of Martin Hole, but he still gets into the passenger seat of Martin’s van and tries to look like he wants to be here.

“What’s this about today, then, mate?” Martin asks, putting his plastic coffee cup down on the dashboard.

“Well, this episode is actually about our attitudes towards gay people, and whether they have changed,” Gary says, trying to ignore the way their bastard of a director is staring at him.

Martin’s eyes widen slightly, and, for about a second, he looks terrified. But then he looks normal again, and Gary wonders if he might have been imagining it.

“Well,” Martin says. “I’ve got nothing against the gays, me, as long as they don’t come onto me.”

“I see,” Gary says, privately wondering why Martin seems rather tolerant for once. “So, uh, what’s your opinion on the Civil Partnership Act?”

Martin shrugs, but his face is going a bit red. “Don’t really mind, to be honest. If they want to, why shouldn’t they be able to?”

Gary nods. “Uh, do you have, uh, any gay friends?”

“Do you?”

“Yeah, I do,” Gary says, not expecting to be asked a question. “My girlfriend’s best friend is gay. He’s a great bloke. So, do you?”

“One of my mates is a lesbian. Her name’s Jane. Me and the other blokes get on with her ‘cause we all like the same things – birds and football.”

“Cool,” Gary says. “Uh, Martin, is this all a joke? I mean, are you going to suddenly laugh at me and say ‘I done you there’?”

Martin shakes his head. “Nah, mate, I’m serious.”    

Gary isn’t so sure.                

\---

Gary sits down beside Humphrey Milner on his knackered old sofa, and smiles at him. Humphrey smiles back.

“So, Humphrey, I was wondering what you think about homosexuality?” He says.

“Well, I may be the only person of my generation who would think this, but I’ve never minded. I always used to think it was cruel that the gays got arrested just for being gay.”

Gary simply nods and listens to Humphrey.

“I mean, look what happened to poor Alan Turing – the poor bastard did so much for the war effort, and what did the government do to repay him? They gave him oestrogen tablets to chemically castrate him, and he ended up killing himself. It’s horrible. They’re just people trying to live their lives, and I don’t see how the gender of the person they love has anything to do with anything.”

Gary stares at Humphrey, amazed to have got such a passionate answer out of a man who is usually very cheerful. Humphrey sees him looking, and smiles.

“Sorry. It’s just something I feel very strongly about.”

“I can tell,” Gary says, and Humphrey chuckles. “Do you have any gay friends?”

“I don’t, but I wish I did,” Humphrey says, and there’s an almost wistful tone to his voice. “It must be fun.”

\---

“So, do you think homophobia is less of a problem these days?” Gary asks, looking between Ian and Archie.

“I’m not sure,” Archie says. “I mean, it’s less blatant, certainly. I mean, in the past, people were far more open about their homophobia – to the point that a man once went up to me, called me a ‘fairy’ and punched me in the face.”

Archie says it very matter-of-factly, but Gary sees his face tense up slightly as he obviously thinks about the experience. Then he looks at Ian, expecting him to notice and comfort Archie, but he is staring straight ahead, and doesn’t seem to be listening at all; he looks like he’s in a complete trance.

Archie smiles weakly at Gary and then carries on speaking, “But it’s still there, and in some places it is even getting worse...”

Archie trails off as they both hear Ian groan. Looking at him, Gary sees Ian looking rather ill all of a sudden; Ian tenses up and hunches forward slightly, the colour draining from his face. Archie and Gary both stare at him, Archie looking as worried as Gary feels.

“You all right, darling?” Archie asks, putting his hand on Ian’s arm.

“I, I think I’m going to be sick,” Ian says shakily, and he heaves.

Groaning, Ian clamps his hand over his mouth and scrabbles to his feet. Gary stands up and watches Ian hurry across the room, not sure if he should do anything or not. Ian trips and falls to his knees near the doorway, and, before either Gary or Archie can put something under his chin, he vomits all over the carpet.

“Shit!” Archie cries, running over to Ian.

Gary follows after him, watching Archie kneel down beside Ian and rub his back.

“Is he all right?” He asks.

“I think he’s just had too much to drink,” Archie whispers. “I don’t think he’s ill.” He turns back to Ian and leans closer to his partner. “It’s all right, darling.”

Once he has stopped being sick, Ian groans and sits up slowly. His cheeks are very flushed, and he looks groggier than ever. He wipes his lips on the back of his hand and groans again.

“Sorry about that,” he says hoarsely.

“It’s all right,” Gary says, but he isn’t sure if the owners of the club agree.

\---

“Is your church more liberal about gay people these days?” Gary asks Sam Maitland as they walk through the churchyard.

“The Church of England has always been liberal,” Sam says. “We hold the belief that the Bible’s teachings should be interpreted, not followed blindly, and need to reflect the changing society. I mean, the Bible allows slavery, but we obviously don’t do that anymore, do we? So why should homosexuality not get the same treatment?”

Gary smiles. “That’s good. I think it’s good that religion accepts gay people, because a lot of people forget how people can be gay and believe in God.”

“Exactly,” Sam says, grinning. “I’m glad you understand. You know, recently, one of the teenage girls who comes to our church ‘came out’, as it were, as a lesbian. We were all very supportive, and she told Martin and me how relieved she was, as her family wasn’t as accepting as our church.”

“Does that mean you think Civil Partnerships are a good idea?” Gary asks.

“I do, actually,” Sam says, nodding her head. “I’m still not sure if same sex marriage should be allowed, but I have nothing against civil ceremonies. I think gay people have had enough problems, and allowing them to commit to each other just as a married couple can is a very good idea.”

Gary smiles. “That’s good. Would you go to that girl’s civil ceremony if she has one in the future.”

Sam smiles too. “Yes, I think I would.”

\---

“Can you remind me about the army’s position on homosexuality?” Gary asks.

Mike Archer and Hugh Fenwick share a look.

“Well, unlike the Old British Army, the Modern British Army has moved with the times,” Mike says.

“Yes,” Hugh adds, “we have. This means that homosexual individuals are now permitted to join the army, due to the fact that their homosexuality will not have any impact on their ability to fight.”

“Because it doesn’t, does it?” Mike says. “A homosexual is just as competent as a heterosexual, and to claim otherwise is not only totally ridiculous, but also extremely offensive.” Mike’s voice is rising in volume, and he looks almost angry. “And I fail to understand why people hold onto this belief that, just because something was done in the past, it must still be done now, no matter how cruel or wrong it was, and...”

Hugh stares firmly at Mike, who abruptly stops talking and stares down at his lap. Confused, Gary looks between them, wondering if they are using facial expressions with meanings only they know. And he also wonders why Mike seemed to get so worked up over something not that important.

\---

“So, what do you think about homosexuality, Linda?” Gary asks.

Linda Darling smiles at him as he stands in front of her market stall. It’s a cold day, but Linda seems to have gone a bit overkill with her warm clothing; she’s wearing three different hats.

“Homosexuality?” Linda says, frowning in obvious confusion. But then she grins. “You mean the gays! Well, I love the gays, Gary.”

“You do?” Gary says, smiling back.

“Course I do. They’re so much fun, and gay men are lovely. No wonder every woman wants a gay best friend, eh?” Linda giggles.

“My girlfriend’s got a gay best friend,” Gary says.

“Are her other friends jealous?”

“Yeah, I think they are a bit,” he says, and Linda claps her hands together.

“Exactly! You know what I mean, Gary! The gays are great. You want a tomato?”

“Um... all right?”

\---

“You know what, Gal?” Martin says, grinning at him.

“What?”

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

Gary frowns. “What is it?”

“I’m a poof. I really fancy you. Can I kiss you?” Martin says, and he lunges at Gary as though about to kiss him.

Gary jerks backwards, almost falling out of the open van door.

“Wh-What the fuck are you doing?” He splutters. “I’m not gay!”

“I’m not either,” Martin says, and he starts laughing. “I done you there, mate. I done you right up. I done you. I. Done. You. I done you right up!”

As Martin tells Gary again and again that he has ‘done him’, Gary can’t help but notice that Martin doesn’t sound as cocky as he usually does, and he isn’t exactly convincing Gary that nothing weird is going on.

\---

“Gays, Gal?” Graham Downes says thoughtfully, clearly thinking hard.

Gary glances around Graham’s bedroom, which is very crowded with numerous screens and shelves full of DVDs. Graham looks at him and grins, picking up his bowl of Sugar Puffs.

“I like the gays, I do,” Graham says. “I’m not one myself, mind you, but I like ‘em.”

“Why do you like them?” Gary asks.

“Well, they’re fun, aren’t they? And, if you want to get all clever, you could say about how they’ve, like, basically been the main people to advance society. Like, pretty much all the famous painters were gays, and then authors and actors and all sorts, you know?”

“Listen to you, getting all clever,” Graham’s mum says as she comes into the room, carrying another bowl of Sugar Puffs.

Graham scoffs. “We was just talking about how much the gays have done for society, weren’t we, Gary?”

“Yeah, yeah we were,” Gary says.

“Well, if we’re talking about gays, can I just say I like them too?” Graham’s mum says. “My brother’s gay and he’s a lovely man.”

Graham takes a mouthful of his Sugar Puffs, and gives his mum a stern look. “Hey, Mum?”

“Yeah?”

“Where’s them Sugar Puffs?”

“They’re right here,” she says, setting the bowl down on one of his many bedside tables and shelves. “But I don’t know why you want them. You haven’t even finished that bowl yet.”

Graham rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but I would’ve done if Gary hadn’t distracted me talking about something interesting. So I’m a bit behind schedule.”

Graham’s mum sighs, but she’s smiling fondly. “Just take them, you silly sod.”

Gary smiles, loving the silly but caring relationship Graham has with his mum.

\---

Gary sits very still as Jason Laughing-Waters and his friends sit down beside him, so they are in a circle.

“So,” he says when they are all ready, “what do you all think about gay people?”

“Hey, man, free love,” Jason says, and his friends all cheer. “There’s nothing wrong with being gay. We’ve all had gay experiences, haven’t we?”

All of Jason’s friends nod.

“I’m gay,” one of the men says, not looking remotely embarrassed about it.

“We snogged one time, didn’t we?” Jason says to his friend who wears an eye patch.

“Yeah, we did,” his friend says, grinning. “We wouldn’t do it again, but it was quite fun at the time.”

“So you’d describe yourselves as liberal, then?” Gary asks.

“Hell yeah!” Jason cries, and they all cry in agreement.

Gary wants to ask them more questions, but then they all start babbling about going down to the garage for some booze and chips, and he doesn’t get a chance.

\---

“So, do you two share the same attitude as the army, or do you have different opinions?” Gary asks.

Hugh and Mike look at each other again. Gary sees them look distinctly anxious.

“Well, we are liberal and don’t see why homosexuality should be treated as a bad thing,” Hugh says.

“Yes,” Mike adds. “Because, really, it isn’t a bad thing, is it?”

Mike’s face has gone red.

“No... no, it’s not,” Gary says, really starting to get confused.

“Don’t mind him, Gary,” Hugh says. “He’s just getting embarrassed. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Mike.”

“I know that,” Mike says, avoiding eye contact.

“Um... what’re you two talking about?” Gary asks, looking between the two of them.

Hugh sighs. “Mike is getting embarrassed talking about homosexuality because he’s homosexual.”

“Hugh!” Mike hisses under his breath, his eyes widening.

“I am too,” Hugh says, ignoring Mike and smiling at Gary. “We’re a couple.”

Gary smiles back, finally understand what’s going on.

“And it is relevant, isn’t it?” Hugh adds. “I mean, considering the tone of this interview. It isn’t as if I just brought it up for no reason.”

Mike looks extremely pissed off. “Thank you for that, Hugh.”

“You’re welcome,” Hugh says, seeming to deliberately miss the sarcasm in Mike’s voice.

\---

Even though he didn’t want to, Gary somehow finds himself in the pub with Martin. His friends aren’t here, and part of Gary is wondering if Martin even has any friends. He’s certainly annoying enough to not have any.

Martin buys them both a pint, and Gary sits down opposite him at a table in the corner. Gary glances around the pub; it’s nicer than he thought it would look, and it isn’t very busy. Martin gulps down half of his glass in one go, and grins at Gary, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

“You can’t beat a pint, can you, Gal?” He says.

“No, not really,” Gary says, taking a sip of his own lager. “It’s very British, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is. It’s British blokes drinking British beer in a British pub.”

Gary smiles awkwardly and decides not to mention that the beer they’re drinking was made in France.

\---

Geoffrey Allerton smiles as he sits down opposite Gary and hands him a cup of tea. Gary glances around the room, still slightly freaked out by how many of Geoffrey’s late mother’s possessions are here.

“So, Geoffrey,” he says, “well, obviously, you’re gay...”

Geoffrey chuckles. “Yes, I am.”

“So, I was thinking that you being gay would have an impact on your attitudes towards gay rights. Am I right?”

“Of course you are,” Geoffrey says. “Having spent a large part of my life being told that gay people were sinners and freaks of nature and mentally ill severely affected my mental health. So, of course, I was ecstatic when we began to get more rights, and we are getting closer than ever to being equal – well, in Britain, anyway.”

“In... In what way did it affect your health?” Gary asks. “If that’s not too personal.”

“No, no, I’m fine to talk about it,” Geoffrey says, smiling reassuringly. “I knew I was gay from a relatively young age, but, even though it was decriminalised several years before this point, I still knew I was never going to be able to come out with my father around.”

“Why was that?” Gary asks, despite being pretty sure he knows what Geoffrey means.

“He was the biggest homophobe going,” Geoffrey says, and he sighs. “He always used to call me a pansy for being a bit of weed and preferring to play with dolls than to go and get muddy. But he was only joking – no matter how malicious he sounded – and I knew he didn’t really mean it. He would never have accepted me as gay, really. So I couldn’t come out, and not being able to be myself started to make me very depressed. Some of my poetry from that time was very dark.”

Geoffrey sighs again. Gary knows what Geoffrey is talking about; he’s read his anthology of poems he wrote as a teenager, and they are all very bleak.

“I moved away from home as soon as I turned eighteen. I came out to everyone new I met, but I still never told anyone from our village. Being out was such a relief for me – I could be who I really was, and people accepted me. I met my first boyfriend in a club. He was a lovely man, but... we just weren’t right for each other.”

“Did you ever come out to your family?” Gary asks.

“I never did to my dad,” Geoffrey says, “but I did come out to Mum, a couple of years after my dad died. She wasn’t remotely shocked,” A small smile crosses his face, “she said she’d always known.”

Geoffrey chuckles weakly. Gary smiles. “Really?”

“It was such a relief to know that. But I couldn’t help but wish she’d told me that back when I was really struggling. Then I might not have got so bad.”

Geoffrey takes a sip of his tea and grimaces. “Cold. Would you like another one, Gary?”

“Please,” Gary says, somehow liking his favourite poet even more.

\---

Martin is absolutely pissed. He’s had about ten pints of strong lager, and is struggling to sit upright. Gary stares at him, concerned by the amount he has drunk. Martin smiles at him, his eyes not quite focused, his smile slightly lopsided.

“Y-You’re a gr-great bloke... y’know that, Gal?” Martin slurs, slapping Gary far too hard on the back.

Gary shuffles backwards slightly, wincing at the pain flaring through his shoulder blade. He smiles awkwardly, wondering why Martin is being so nice to him. For some reason, he has never imaged Martin as being a happy drunk.

Martin smiles back, and he looks content. And then... the strangest thing happens. He leans forwards, and, before Gary knows what is going on, Martin kisses him softly on the lips.

Gary pulls away sharply, not having the first idea what is going on. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Martin looks terrified. “Fuck. I... f-fuck.”

Martin gets to his feet and stumbles into the toilets. Gary just sits there, unable to believe what has just happened. Martin Hole, one of the biggest homophobes he knows, has just kissed him. He remembers something he was told years ago, about how alcohol doesn’t make you do things you would never do – it just unlocks something you wouldn’t do if you were sober and thinking about the consequences of your actions. So, if that is true... does that mean that Martin has always wanted to kiss him?

He’s so confused.

\---

Gary and Archie help Ian sit back down at their table. The club’s cleaner is glaring over at them, obviously not pleased about having to clean up vomit. A member of the film crew has managed to find a bucket, which Gary has placed under the table, just in case Ian needs to throw up again.

Ian groans and leans his head against Archie’s shoulder. He looked exhausted, and very ill.

“Sorry about that,” he says again.

Gary glances at Archie, and sees a distinctly anxious look on his face. He is clearly very, very worried about Ian, and Gary doesn’t blame him.

\---

When Martin comes back, he looks awful, and he smells like vomit. He sits down next to Gary and stares straight ahead, his arms folded. He’s shaking.

“S-Sorry,” he slurs.

Gary sighs. “Don’t be sorry. I just... I don’t understand why you did that.”

“I d-dunno know either, G-Gal,” Martin says. “I just... I dunno.”

Gary stares at Martin’s flushed, sweaty face, still trying to make sense of what has just happened.

“Martin?” He asks. “Are you gay?”

“I ain’t a fucking poof!” Martin snaps, staring at him with wide, almost terrified eyes. His eyes are starting to fill with tears. “I ain’t... I ain’t...” he trails off, and he buries his head in his hands. “F-Fucking hell.”

Martin’s breathing starts to shudder, and Gary realises that he’s crying. What the fuck is going on?

“Martin?” He says, shuffling closer even though part of him wants to run away.

“Sorry, Gal,” Martin says thickly.

“I’ve already told you, mate, you don’t have to be sorry,” Gary says.

Martin moves his hands and stares at him, his eyes wide and full of tears. His lip is wobbling, and his hands can’t seem to stop shaking. He’s still swaying unsteadily, and slumps backwards against his seat, sobbing softly.

“Look, Martin,” Gary says, trying to keep his voice soft, yet firm at the same time. “I don’t fancy you, but that’s not your fault. I’m just not gay. Please don’t cry.”

Gary sighs. As much as Martin gets on his nerves, he can’t stand seeing him like this.

“Martin? Do you want a hug?”

Martin sniffs and nods. Gary moves closer to Martin and pulls the older man into a hug. Martin leans his head against Gary’s shoulder and sobs. Somewhat awkwardly, Gary pats his back, still hardly able to believe that this is happening.

“I h-hate meself,” Martin sobs, his voice thick and shaky and muffled by Gary’s shirt. “F-Fucking poof.”

Gary doesn’t know what to do. So he just sits there and pats Martin’s back and hopes he’ll calm down soon. And, luckily, he does. After a while, he pulls away from Gary, wiping his face dry on his sleeve. His eyes are puffy and bloodshot. He smiles weakly at Gary.

“Thanks, Gal,” he says, his voice still hoarse from crying.

Gary smiles reassuringly and pats Martin’s arm, still in shock, but knowing he needs to try and keep Martin calm.

“There’s nothing wrong with being gay, Martin,” he says softly. “It’s all right.”

Martin still looks dreadful, but he looks reassured as he leans his head against Gary’s shoulder and falls asleep. Gary knows he’ll probably feel differently in the morning, but, right now, he’s glad he’s been able to help in some way.


	2. Part 2

Gary is impressed. This house is magnificent. As he gets out of the Bellamy Mobile, Gary stares up at the manor house and looks around the seemingly endless grounds.

The doors open, and a man comes hurrying out towards Gary. This man, who looks to be about forty, is dressed in an impeccable three piece suit. He is beaming delightedly as he jogs over to Gary. When he reaches Gary, he stops and holds out his hand, clearly out of breath.

“Hello,” he says, shaking Gary’s hand. “I’m Ralph.”

“Ah,” Gary says, smiling despite feeling a bit of an idiot, “of course. Sorry for not recognising you, Lord Mayhew.”

Ralph’s smile fades slightly. “You really don’t need to call me Lord, Mr Bellamy. Ralph is fine.”

“Sorry, Ralph,” Gary says. “And, please, call me Gary.”

Ralph is grinning again. “Right then, Gary, would you like to come inside?”

As they start to walk towards the front door, Gary sees a man come around the side of the house, pushing a wheelbarrow. He is dressed in scruffy gardener’s clothes and muddy boots, with a flat cap on his head. The man looks up, obviously hearing their footsteps, and drops the wheelbarrow.

“Feck!” He says, and Gary is surprised to hear he has an Irish accent.

The loud noise makes Ralph jump, and he turns to look at the man. His eyes widen.

“Ted!” He cries, hurrying over to the man. “Are you all right?”

Gary follows after him, watching Ralph rush up to the man called Ted and grab hold of his arm. As Gary watches Ralph fuss over Ted, he realises that this Ted is the same Ted who Ralph told him about on the phone – his partner. Now he’s closer, Gary can see that Ted has greying mutton chop sideburns, and looks about twenty years older than Ralph. He’s stooped over slightly, as though he has a bad back.

“I’m fine,” Ted is saying, picking up the wheelbarrow’s handles again. “I just panicked. I forgot that this was today. If I’d know I would’ve made an effort, not look like a scruff bag.”

“You look fine, Ted,” Ralph says. “Look, just leave the wood here for now, and come and have a chat with Gary Bellamy.”

Ted looks past Ralph and sees Gary. Gary smiles at him.

“Hello, Ted,” he says, holding out his hand.

Ted shakes his hand; his hand is covered in dried mud, but it doesn’t bother Gary.

“’Lo,” Ted says, smiling.

“Right then,” Ralph says, clapping his hands together. “Should we go inside?”

\---

Gary sits down opposite Billy Bleach in the pub and hands him a pint of lager, a small part of him amazed to be in a pub that isn’t completely empty.

“Cheers, mate,” Billy says, taking a sip of the lager. “So, what d’you want to talk about?”

“Well,” Gary says, “as you know, this programme is about asking the people of Britain about important issues. We’re currently filming a two part episode about the subject of gay rights and society’s attitudes to gay people. Is... that something you know anything about?”

Billy nods. “I know a fair bit, yeah.”

Gary gets the impression that Billy is one of those men who’s an expert on anything and everything. He usually hates people like that, but Billy seems to be all right.

“So, what exactly do you know? Can you tell me about it?”

“Me best mate’s gay,” Billy says, very matter-of-factly.

Gary raises his eyebrows, intrigued. “Really?”

“Yeah, really. We met about two years ago in this pub. He’s a great bloke. And it don’t bother me that he’s gay. I know he don’t fancy me.”

Gary smiles. “That’s so great to hear. So many straight men don’t want to be friends with gay men, and it’s great to meet one who actually talks sense.”

Billy smiles back and takes another sip of his beer. “I know. I hate it that there’s blokes out there who think every gay bloke fancies them. I mean, have you seen some straight men? What gay man or straight woman would want to go out with them?”

Billy pulls a disgusted face, and Gary splutters with laughter. Something tells Gary that him and Billy are going to get on well.

\---

Five minutes later, Gary, Ted and Ralph are sat in one of the many reception rooms. The house is a bit less magnificent inside – a lot of the paintwork needs to be redone and the carpets and curtains are threadbare and dusty – but Gary guesses it must be hard work for just the two of them to maintain such a massive house.

Ralph seems to read his mind, because he says, “Sorry that it’s a bit scruffy in here, Gary.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Gary says, trying to sound reassuring. “So, is it all right if I ask you some questions?”

“No problem,” Ted says.

“Right then,” Gary smiles. “So, have you two ever experienced prejudice?”

Ted and Ralph look at each other. Ralph looks nervous, and Gary sees Ted give him a reassuring smile.

“Well,” Ralph says slowly, “for as long as I can remember, everyone in this village has been a bit... odd around me. It often felt like everyone was laughing and gossiping behind my back.”

“That’s because they were,” Ted says softly, and there’s a hint of bitterness in his voice.

Ralph sighs and smiles weakly. “Yes, they were. But after a while, I stopped caring. And then, when me and Ted... started going out” – He smiles, his face flushing red – “it got a lot better. You see, Ted is much better at telling people things, so, whilst I would just ignore them, Ted would tell people to go away.”

“He says ‘go away’, but I actually always told them to feck off,” Ted says, with a cheeky grin that makes both Gary and Ralph chuckle slightly. “And you should’ve seen everyone’s faces when we went into the pub holding hands for the first time,” Ted grins and takes Ralph’s hand in his own. “It was hysterical.”

Gary smiles, glad things got better for Ralph. He really deserves the happy life he now has with Ted.

\---

Ron Manager and Tommy Stein’s house isn’t a mansion like Ted and Ralph’s, but it is still impressive. He’s excited to meet Ron and Tommy; he’s a massive football fan, and he sees these two every week in the commentary box when he’s watching matches on the telly. Although he can’t help but get distracted when he listens to them talk; what with Ron’s tendency to ramble on about nothing and Tommy’s tendency to get annoyed when he can’t get a word in edgeways, they are very funny to listen to.

Ron answers the door. When he sees Gary, he grins and starts to flap his hands.

“Ah, Gary,” he cries, his voice too loud. “Come in, come in.”

Ron opens the door wide and lets Gary into the house. He is still flapping his hands. Gary knows that someone who doesn’t know about Ron’s autism would probably find this disturbing or funny, but Gary understands why Ron flaps his hands – it’s to keep him calm, and he can’t see anything wrong with it.

“Tommy!” Ron calls. “Gary’s here.”

A few seconds later, Tommy comes out of the living room. He smiles when he sees Gary.

“Calm down, Ron,” he says softly, before approaching Gary and shaking his hand. “It’s great to meet you. We love your programme, don’t we, Ron?”

“It’s fascinating,” Ron says, nodding his head in agreement.

“Thanks,” Gary smiles.

Ron and Tommy lead Gary into the living room, and he sits down opposite them. Ron can’t seem to sit still; he is tapping his feet against the floor and fidgeting.

“So, what do you want to ask us?” Tommy asks.

“Well, this episode’s all about gay rights and society’s changing attitudes towards gay people,” Gary says, “so if you know anything about that, I’d like to hear it.”

“We know a lot about homophobia,” Ron says.

“Aye, we do,” Tommy says, sighing. “We stayed in the closet for years, but, eventually people found out that we were not only gay, but in a relationship. To cut a long story short, the public didn’t take this news well. You see, we were outed, as it were, by a newspaper. A paparazzo saw us kissing and took a photo, and then there was an article and the whole country found out.” Beside him, Ron starts flapping his hands again and bites his bottom lip. Tommy looks stressed too. “It was fucking awful.”

“You don’t have to talk about this if it’s stressful,” Gary says, concerned. He doesn’t want to upset them.

“Nah, it’s all right,” Tommy insists. “It was decades ago. We got used to it a long time ago.”

“Yes, and worse things have happened since, like actual physical violence, which is much worse than people just gossiping about you,” Ron babbles, staring down at the floor.

“That’s so awful,” Gary says, sighing. “I’m so sorry.”

Ron frowns. “But it’s not your fault.”

“No, I just... I just meant I’m so sorry that that happened to you.”

Ron smiles, obviously understanding him. “Thank you. I just wish everyone had that attitude back then.”

“You know, Gary, I’ve still got the article if you’re interested,” Tommy says.

He must take Gary’s blank expression as a yes, because Tommy gets up and leaves the room, mumbling that he’ll be back in a minute. Sure enough, he is. Tommy flops down next to Ron and hands Gary a newspaper cutting. Gary stares at it; the paper has gone yellow with age, and the edges are torn.

He unfolds it, and is immediately drawn to a colour photo. It’s blurry and in bad quality, but he can still tell the figures are a much younger Ron and Tommy. Ron is up on his tiptoes with his arms around Tommy’s neck, and they are kissing. And then he spots the headline, and reads through the article.

**FOOTBALLERS IN HOMOSEXUAL AFFAIR?**

**Football player Thomas Stein, 28, and ex-footballer Ronald Manager, 34, were photographed in an intimate embrace last night. The photograph, printed below, was taken at approximately 11:10pm last night, when the pair were leaving a restaurant in North West London. It shows Manager kissing Stein. After the kiss, the pair of them were reported to hold each other’s hands as they walked away.**

**Stein and Manager are both unmarried, and have previously been described semi-seriously as ‘confirmed bachelors’ by reporters and their fellow footballers. Manager caused quite a stir three years ago for describing George Best as ‘gorgeous’, and his repeated insistence that this comment was a joke was not exactly convincing. So this revelation that Manager is in a homosexual relationship may not shock many, but this reporter for one is surprised to find Stein in this situation.**

When he has finished, Gary stares at Ron and Tommy with wide eyes. He doesn’t know what to say. He has always known people were homophobic in the 1970s, but this... this is just pathetic. Since when was kissing a crime?

“For homophobes, Gary,” Tommy says sadly, and Ron rests his head on his shoulder, “it’s always been a crime.”

\---

When Gary first sees Simon Bush and Lyndsay Mottram, he has to fight back laughter, because they look ridiculous. They consider themselves to be Off-Roaders, but they don’t seem to have much luck in their outdoor exploits, and Gary personally thinks they are both just crap at them.

Their flat is messy and crammed with equipment like ropes and skis and helmets and hiking gear; most of this equipment is in good condition, as though it has only been used once. Gary sits down on an old, tatty armchair, and Simon and Lyndsay sit opposite him on an equally tatty sofa.

“It’s good to meet you, Gary,” Simon says, shaking his hand.

“You too,” Gary says, smiling. “So, are you two happy to answer a few questions?”

Simon and Lyndsay look at each other, and then nod.

“Great, then, let’s get started. So, what do you two know about gay rights and homophobia?”

“Well, we’re both bi,” Lyndsay says, without any trace of embarrassment. “I’d been with a couple of guys before Si, but I’m the first bloke he’s ever fancied, right, Si?”

Simon nods, looking rather embarrassed; his cheeks are flushing slightly. Lyndsay notices this.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Si,” he says.

“I’m not embarrassed,” Simon says.

“You are. Look, you’ve gone red.”

Lyndsay gestures at Simon’s flushed face. Simon swats his hand away like he would if an annoying insect was buzzing around his head.

“What’s your problem, Si?”

Sighing, Simon mutters, “Shut up, Lynds.”

Lyndsay frowns. “Don’t tell me to shut up.”

“Well stop being annoying then and I will,” Simon snaps, and Lyndsay playfully shoves him.

“Wanker,” he mutters, but he’s grinning.

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“Fuck off, Si,” Lyndsay says, and he splutters with laughter.

“Is this normal?” Gary asks, looking between them as Simon tries his best to suppress his own laughter.

“Is what normal?” Simon says.

“This. You know, you two bickering.”

They both nod, Lyndsay still laughing.

“Pretty much, yeah,” Simon shrugs his shoulders, smiling.

“So,” Gary says, “should we get back on topic?”

“Yeah,” Lyndsay says, nodding. And then he frowns, clearly confused. “What were we talking about again?”

Simon rolls his eyes.

“Um, you said about you both being bi,” Gary says.

“That’s it!” Lyndsay grins. “So, yeah, being bi means we’ve had a fair bit of shit over the years.”

“Mostly from our families,” Simon says. “My mum’s a right bitch – she constantly makes comments whenever we see her, and, last Christmas, she made a fuss about me and Lynds sharing a bedroom.”

“Even though his sister and her fiancé were allowed to share a room without a fuss,” Lyndsay says. “Fucking double standards.”

Gary gives him what he hopes is an understanding smile. He hates double standards too.

\---

Over the years, Gary has occasionally watched Bob Fleming’s TV programme, called _Country Matters_ (and he still isn’t sure if the innuendo in the title is an accident or not), and has never quite worked out how this programme stays on the air, as everything seems to constantly go wrong. Although, to be honest, that’s kind of why he watches it; if nothing else, watching Bob and his friends cause accidental chaos is very funny.

Gary has decided to meet Bob and his friends Clive Tucker and Jed Thomas at their local pub. Entering the pub, he is momentarily mesmerised by the sight of such a quaint, old-fashioned British pub, but then he remembers what he’s doing, and looks for Bob and his friends. He sees them sitting around a table in the corner of the pub and heads over to them. Bob looks up and sees him, and waves at Gary.

“Hello, Gary,” he calls, before having a hacking coughing fit.

Reaching their table, Gary shakes Bob’s hand (not the one he was just coughing into) and sits down beside him. “Hi.”

Sat opposite him are Jed and Clive. They both smile at Gary.

“ARSE! Hello, Gary,” Jed says, shaking Gary’s hand. Gary is used to Jed’s tics after seeing him on Bob’s TV programme, but it still kind of makes him want to laugh.

“Hello, there, Gary,” Clive says, and he sneezes three times in a row. “Sorry about the sneezing. It’s my hayfever.”

“It’s not a problem,” Gary says, and Clive smiles. “My girlfriend’s got it. She sneezes constantly for most of the summer. It’s nice to meet you. Right, then. What do you lot know about gay rights and homophobia?”

“Well, we’re a couple, aren’t we, Jed?” Clive says.

“Yep,” Jed says, smiling. “Have been for thirty years now.”

Gary smiles, watching Jed take Clive’s hand and squeeze it. Jed’s hand spasms oddly, his fingers twitching like he has just touched something hot; it must be another of his tics.

“Yes, and in that time—” Clive cuts himself off with a massive sneeze; he sniffs heavily and blows his nose before carrying on, “— well, in that time we’ve seen the gay rights movement grow and our rights slowly increase... but we’ve also seen, and experienced, a lot of homophobia.”

And Jed and Clive proceed to tell Gary all about the way their families disowned them, about how they have experienced prejudice and discrimination, and, most worryingly at all, that they have been beaten up at least six times just for being gay. And Gary just stares at them, feeling immensely sorry for the pair of them.

“Last time they broke my wrist,” Clive says. His voice is starting to shake; beside him, Jed is biting his bottom lip to stop it wobbling.

Gary looks at Bob, who is staring at his friends with a sympathetic expression.

“It’s not fair,” Bob says, and he coughs. “I can’t get it into my head why people think they deserve to be treated like shit, just because they’re gay. It’s so wrong.”

Gary smiles sadly. “I know what you mean. Do you think it’s got any better over the years?”

“I’d like to say yes, but I’m not sure it has,” Bob says, coughing.

“Why not?”

“Because the last time we got beaten up was only three months ago,” Clive says, and he puts his arm around Jed, who looks like he wants to cry.

And Gary just stares at them, understanding Bob fully.

\---

After what seems like hours, Billy suddenly stops telling Gary about the best songs to play on the pub’s jukebox, and stares at the doorway. Gary watches a grin spread across his face, and wonders what he has seen. And then Billy jumps to his feet and waves his arms above his head.

“Archie!” he calls. “Over here, mate!”

A man waves back, and Gary guesses that he is Archie, Billy’s friend. As Archie walks towards them, Gary notices that he appears to be nervous; his tense body language is a bit of a giveaway. He has greying blond hair, and is wearing a three piece suit. He sits down beside Billy, pulling his sleeves down over his hands.

“This’s Archie,” Billy says, and Archie smiles weakly.

“’Lo,” he mumbles.

“Billy was telling me all about you,” Gary says.

Archie smiles, his very pale face going red. “Were you?”

“Course I was,” Billy says. “Do you remember us talking ‘bout meeting Gary and having a little chat? Cos we’re gonna do it now, if you’re still all right to.”

“I’m fine to do it,” Archie says, but he sounds nervous.

“That’s good,” Gary says. “So, Archie, obviously you’re gay, but I’d like to know if you’ve ever experienced homophobia.”

Archie nods. “I have, yeah. But I’ve had other stuff that’s a lot worse. I’m mentally ill, you see, and people’ve always been awful about it. Treating me like I’m dangerous, avoiding me, you know, that sort of thing. The homophobia’s a problem, course it is, but, for me at least, it’s only ever been stupid comments and funny looks, instead of outright bullying and treating me like I’m a bloody axe-wielding maniac.”

Archie smiles weakly, but Gary can see his hands trembling.

“Speaking of homophobia, one of the most important things people need to know is that gay people can be bastards to other queer people,” Archie says. “Even though gay people get shit loads of homophobia, it don’t stop some of them being wankers to bi people, or trans people. Me brother’s bi, and he’s had shit from gay blokes who said he’s not really queer, and shouldn’t be allowed in gay safe spaces. And I’ve had shit too...”

Archie trails off, sighing. Billy gives his shoulder a pat.

“But I thought you’re gay,” Gary says, confused.

“I am gay,” Archie says, “but... I’m also trans.”

He seems to tense up as he says it, as though expecting a punch. Gary stares at him, puzzled, but Billy understands. He sighs and pats Archie’s shoulder again.

“I’ve told you before, Arch,” he says, “no one’s gonna hurt you.”

“What’s wrong?” Gary asks.

“Nothing,” Archie mumbles. “I just can’t get used to people treating me being trans like it’s no big deal. When I was younger, people were... people were fucking horrible.”

“In what way?” Gary says. “You don’t have to answer if it’s going to upset you.”

“Nah, I’m all right,” Archie says. “Been over this so many times with therapists and Billy here that it’s no real problem anymore. So, anyway, for trans people who aren’t also gay, they can get comments about how they’re not queer, or maybe they’re just really gay.” Seeing how confused Gary looks, he elaborates. “Like, if you’re a trans man, you can sometimes get comments that you must just be a butch lesbian, that you’re not really trans at all, and trying to act like a man is somehow sexist and homophobic.”

“What?!” Gary cries.

“I know,” Billy says under his breath. “It’s fucking mental, innit?”

“One time I went out with this bloke,” Archie continues. “We were all right... until he shoved his hand up my shirt and realised I was wearing a binder. He freaked out, told me I weren’t a real man. He called me a ‘fucking tranny’ and punched me in the face.”

Gary’s eyes widen. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”

Archie shrugs. “It’s nothing new. But thanks.”

“Do you know why he acted like that?” Gary asks.

Archie nods. “Yeah, I think I do. You see, some gay people – and I really do mean only some, cos most of them are the most accepting people ever, like my brother’s partner, for example – well some of them think that genitals are everything. Like, they think you can’t be a man if you ain’t got a penis, and sometimes they get all like ‘I can’t have sex with that thing!’ as though your sex organs are the only thing that determine if they’ll fancy you. Seriously, I was at a support group for mentally ill trans people, and this is all really common shit.”

Archie finally stops talking and ducks his head. Gary can see his lip wobbling, and his eyes are shining.

“Are you all right?” Gary asks, only realising after he’s said it how stupid a question it is.

“Yeah, ‘m fine,” Archie mumbles, and his voice trembles.

“Come ‘ere,” Billy says, and he puts his arm around Archie.

Gary watches as Billy holds Archie close and tells him shitty jokes to make him smile, and knows that, despite the shit he’s been through, at least Archie has Billy.

\---

Charles Curtis and Sheridan both remind Gary of the surgeon who removed his tonsils that time; they are both old, very posh and prone to using medical jargon even when the person they are talking to doesn’t understand it.

Charles pours Gary some whiskey from a posh crystal bottle, and tops up his and Sheridan’s glasses. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Gary. We listen to your programme a lot, don’t we, Sheridan.”

“Yes, we do,” Sheridan says. “We have it on when we’re driving home from the hospital of an evening. It’s very good.”

“Thank you,” Gary says, smiling. “So, what do you two know about gay rights and homophobia?”

“We know a fair bit, don’t we?” Sheridan says to Charles, who nods.

“Yes, I suppose we do. We’ve been together for a very long time, you see, and in that time we have experienced a lot.”

“How long exactly _have_ we been together, Charles?” Sheridan asks.

“It must be... fifty, fifty five years,” Charles says.

“Yes, I’d say fifty, fifty five years,” Sheridan agrees, nodding.

“Fifty, fifty five years.”

“Fifty years, fifty five years.”

“Yes, fifty, fifty five years.”

“Fifty, fifty five years.”

Gary looks between them, bemused, as they repeat the same phrase over and over again. Once they finally seem to have established exactly how long they have been in a relationship, Gary tries to get Charles and Sheridan back on track.

“So, what exactly have you experienced in the long time you’ve been together?” he asks.

“Well, we experienced what it was like to be gay in a time when it was not only frowned upon, but actually illegal,” Sheridan says.

“Of course, we weren’t ‘out’ as the young people say,” Charles says. “We knew that would not have been an intelligent move. Yet being ‘in the closet’ was often just as hard to deal with as the homophobia we later faced when he came out.”

Sheridan nods. “Yes, having to lie and hide our relationship from people despite there being nothing wrong with it was tough. It was so tough, in fact, that we could almost ignore the homophobia when we were finally able to come out.” He locks eyes with Gary. “The key word being ‘almost’.”

“We have been rather lucky in that we have never been physically attacked for our sexualities,” Charles says, “but we have experienced an awful lot of verbal abuse, problems at work, and have had to cope with our parents and siblings disowning us. The first two are just about bearable, but losing your family is... dreadful.”

Charles voice quivers slightly, but his face is set firmly, as though he is determined that he won’t give into his emotions.

“But things got better, didn’t they, Charles?” Sheridan says, and Gary realises that he is trying to cheer Charles up.

It obviously works, because Charles smiles and grasps Sheridan’s hand. “Yes, they did. Although it is still present in this country and is absolutely terrible in other parts of the world, we are pleased to say that the levels of homophobia have been decreasing. And we hope that, one day, gay people may have the same rights as heterosexual people, rights that they – that we – so obviously deserve.”

“Here, here,” Sheridan says softly, and he gives Charles a kiss.

\---

After visiting Martin Hole every week, Gary is used to interviewing people on building sites. But he has never interviewed people actually up two floors of scaffolding. He isn’t remotely scared of heights, but it still feels a bit weird. Darren and Kevin, dressed in scruffy, paint stained jeans and jerseys with tool belts around their waists, are adjusting the scaffolding as they chat to him, their voices unmistakably posh.

“Gay rights, eh?” Kevin says. “Well, we went to Pride last year, didn’t we, Dar?”

Darren nods. “Yes, we did. We’ve been together for five years, but last year was our first Pride. It was great fun. I had the gay pride flag painted on my face, and Kev got a brilliant T-shirt. We made lots of friends and had a great time. It was an experience we would certainly like to replicate...”

Gary hears something, and leans over the edge of the scaffolding to have a look. A young man is walking along the pavement below them, carrying a portable speaker and blaring awful music (Gary thinks it is called House music, although he might be totally wrong). The music gets louder as he gets closer, until it is so loud that Gary can’t hear a word Darren is saying. Darren, obviously having a similar problem, trails off and sighs. Kevin sighs too.

“Sorry about this, Gary,” he says, and then he leans over the edge of the scaffolding and yells, in a sudden, very chavvy voice, “Oi, you! Get your fucking music away from here!”

“We’re trying to have a fucking interview, you inconsiderate twat!” Darren shouts, just as chavvy.

The man stares up at them, and Kevin gives him an obscene hand gesture. Looking scared, the man hurries away, the loud music fading as he moves away from them. Kevin then turns back to Gary and smiles.

“Sorry about that, Gary,” he says, posh again, as he and Darren resume fixing the scaffolding and talking about gay pride.

And Gary just stares at them, trying to fight back laughter. Why is everyone he meets so bloody _weird_?

\---

Ken Barnet and Bryan Farnet are halfway through an anecdote about getting thrown out of a restaurant when they were on holiday in America (apparently it was totally legal in the state they visited, as well as in a lot of other states, a fact that baffled Gary) when the strangest thing happens. Without any warning, Bryan stops talking abruptly and slumps against Ken, his eyes closing, his body relaxing. He looks like he has just fallen asleep.

Gary looks at him with wide eyes, and then at Ken, who he is surprised to find looking relatively calm, considering that Ken is usually a nervous wreck. Ken sees him looking, and smiles.

“He’s got narcolepsy,” he explains. “We probably should’ve explained that before. He’s just having a sleep attack. He’ll wake up in a couple of minutes.”

Sure enough, Bryan does. Gary watches his eyes open slowly, like his eyelids are heavy, and then sit up slightly. Bryan rubs his eyes, looking half asleep. He glances at Ken, who smiles and squeezes his hand.

“I’ve already told him,” he says softly, and Gary nods.

“Does that happen a lot?” He asks.

Bryan shrugs his shoulders and yawns. “’Bout three times a day. Sometimes more if I’m tired.”

Gary nods in understanding, and then Bryan and Ken go back to their story about homophobic waiters as though nothing has happened.

\---

Gary sits down beside Danny and Kenny at the edge of a massive lake, in a collapsible chair that Kenny has said he can borrow. They both have their fishing gear set up, but aren’t paying much attention to it. Their chairs are very close together, and Kenny has his arm stretched across the back of Danny’s chair, his hand resting on Danny’s shoulder.

“So,” Gary says, “what do you two know about gay rights and society’s attitudes towards gay people?”

Danny looks at Kenny before turning back to Gary. “Quite a bit.”

“He’s talking bollocks, Gary,” Kenny says, smiling. “He knows loads ‘bout it. He knows loads ‘bout everything, to be honest.”

Danny stares down at his hands, his cheeks flushing slightly. “If you say so.”

“I do say so,” Kenny says, turning back to Gary. “He’s really clever. He knows all about art and books and history and all that sort of shit.”

“But, yeah, I do know about this,” Danny says, like he wants to change the subject. “I’m gay, and I’ve known since I was fifteen. Although I didn’t come out until a year ago. I never told anyone, ‘cause I was worried about getting hurt. People on the estate I grew up on weren’t exactly liberal.”

“In what way?” Gary asks.

“Pretty much every gay person in the area’s been beaten up at least once. I was scared I’d get beaten up too, so I didn’t tell anyone.” Danny sighs.

“So, are you two a couple?” Gary asks, despite being pretty certain of the answer.         

“Yeah, we are. We’ve been together for a year now,” Kenny says, “and I think it’s going well.”

Danny smiles. “It’s going brilliant.”

“So, how did your relationship start?” Gary asks. Danny suddenly looks very anxious, and he adds, “You don’t have to if it’s going to upset you.”

“Nah, its fine. You see... I got beaten up,” Danny says, and his voice wobbles. “By Kenny’s friend.”

Gary’s eyes widen. Kenny, hearing the tremor in his partner’s voice, leans closer to Danny and begins to rub the back of his neck.

“Sorry,” Danny mumbles.

“Don’t be sorry,” Gary and Kenny say together.

“My ‘mate’ beat Danny up. Broke his nose and everything. Wanker.” Kenny sighs. “And the worst thing is that he did it ‘cause he thought I’d appreciate it if Danny left me alone.” A small smile appears on his face as he adds, “Of course, he hadn’t realised that I already knew he Danny’s gay and didn’t give a shit, and...” Kenny trails off, going red.

Danny, looking a bit better, gives Kenny a kiss on the cheek.

“And he fancied me back,” he finishes for Kenny, smiling.

Gary smiles too.

“I’d never fancied another bloke before,” Kenny says. “I was so confused. Took me ages to work out that I’m bi.”

“We started going out not that long out of that day,” Danny says. “And I can honestly say that the last year has been the best year of my life.”

“You sappy bastard,” Kenny says, chuckling, but he hugs Danny tightly and looks slightly like he might break down.

“It’s true, though,” Danny says, and he smiles at Gary.

Gary grins back, glad that everything has worked out for Danny and Kenny. There aren’t enough happy endings in real life for Gary’s liking.


End file.
